Round 1!

3rd August 2012; the first day of our fertility treatment. The first day of the first cycle.

Off we go on our 3 hour round trip to our clinic all excited and filled with anticipation of our dream coming true! Now I don’t know if its just me but obviously I had heard of IVF before and had now had the chats with the clinic explaining the process of ICSI however I don’t actually think I knew what it would really involve. I knew the sperm was injected into the egg and then hopefully a beautiful wee embryo would be created and transferred into its wee comfy bed in my tummy! What I didn’t realise is that the stars and the moon practically have to align to get to that point!!! So many things need to work out for conception to take place that I just have no idea how it just happens by people having a bit of how’s your father!!

Anyway having been to the clinic for a baseline scan of my womb and ovaries we head home armed with our meds, mentally preparing ourselves for that first injection later that night! I know many couples use this as a bit of a bonding experience but anyone who knows my husband would never let him near them with a sharp object! For us this meant me taking responsibility for injecting and hoping my body would respond accordingly!

That feeling of responsibility has never left me from that day right through the future miscarriages, pregnancy, CHD diagnosis and even to the present day of parenting! I guess its just another way of your body preparing you for motherhood! Its a huge responsibility though and one that often felt like a burden I couldn't ever share and at times this caused me great anxiety which in turn created a big headache for my poor hubby!

We were starting on a protocol for what they call over responders. Basically this means I am literally a mother hen when it comes to eggs and have a higher than normal supply! This can only be a good thing right?

That night, sat on the kitchen worktop with my belly hanging out and after much "you do it, no I'll do it" I turned the dial on the preloaded pen injection and popped it in my tummy!  Don’t be fooled into thinking this was a simple process! It took a good half hour, sending Adam out of the room and a bloody good talking to to myself before I plucked up the courage to do it!

And once I did, I was so proud of myself and finally felt like I had a little bit of control back.

These injections had to be done at the same time every night and then a few days later, we started the second lot of injections! These new injections had to be drawn up and again administered at the same time each day! I was feeling like a proper trouper by now!

A week after we started the medication we returned to the clinic for a progress scan to see how many follicles were being produced (the follicles are produced in the ovaries which hopefully contain eggs and the quality of which is measured by their size). The follicles were growing nicely and we had to go back again 3 days later for a further progress scan. We were then scheduled for egg collection 3 days later.

We were sent home with our checklist in preparation of the collection. The last injection would be the following day and then an HCG injection had to be given exactly 35.5 hours before the collection takes place, so 10pm on the Tuesday, and egg collection was scheduled for Thursday 16th August. By the time Thursday came round I was literally bursting at the ovaries and couldn’t wait for the egg removal.

We arrived bright and early and starving due to having to fast from midnight so that the egg collection could be done under sedation. I was so nervous! I don’t think anyone really relishes the idea of being knocked out while they insert needles into your ovaries and suck your eggs out but needs must eh!!

While I was wheeled to theatre slightly drowsy from the meds they had given me my hubby was in a wee room providing his sample! You at least expect to be in the same room as your partner when you're conceiving!!

The retrieval went well and they collected 21 eggs!!! The average is 8!! Cluck cluck!! Turns out this isn't as good a result as it sounds as I had over stimulated as anticipated and couldn't proceed to embryo transfer as the effects of hyper stimulation are quite serious and can result in blood clots and occasionally death!!

We had to abandon this cycle until my hormones had settled however the disappointment of this was quickly forgotten when 17 eggs were fertilised and 7 embryos placed into storage for future transfers!

I spent the next few weeks in thigh high surgical stockings 23 hours a day while injecting myself daily with blood thinners and attending the clinic every second day to check my progress!! Fun times!!

The road to pregnancy was already throwing obstacles in the way and with hindsight, was just a sign of things to come!